by Sanjay Jha


Allegedly: This word was allegedly the most abused term of Y2010. Since almost everyone and anyone is under some sort of investigation, scrutiny , surveillance or raid , the prefix was necessary to ensure no libel suits ( CYA) and also a convenient backdoor entry-point to do a dramatic turnaround should charge-sheets remain uncharged.

Banana Republic : Ratan Tata’s casual utterance made this awesome yellow –colored beauty of a fruit which arrives in dozens and is full of iron, vitamins and anti-oxidants , an object of abject ridicule. But Tata needs to make a slight correction; we are a banana-split republic, a delectable dessert of decadence. And that includes the preachers of professionalism.

Moral fibre: What moral, what fibre? Some thought it was a new health cereal of Kellogg’s being subtly promoted by several grumpy grave faces on prime time ( especially self-interested lawyers). Even yours truly, went ballistic with it’s over-kill till my executive assistant recommended (with dollops of sarcasm) that maybe one should look at a Thesaurus.

Let’s move on : After every explosive damning expose, there was a reluctant but unanimous agreement that we must “ move on”. And move on we did, to another scam waiting for us with a sunshine smile and a wide embrace.

Breaking News: So Barack Obama has landed: Breaking News. His helicopter takes off from the airport: Breaking News. Three voluptuous vultures spotted near Obama’s helicopter flying in the south-west direction as part of winter migration: Breaking News. 100 killed in some suicide bombing in West Asia: What the hell is that?

Systemic malaise: Since the time I remember hitting college ( pun unintended) , the word “ system” dominates most conversations whenever we cannot find anything more specific to say. Since this year we had a grocery-list of interconnected myriad issues to discuss, system became the most foolproof argument usually eliciting positive nods of approbation.

Jugaad: Corporate India feels very hip-hop when they say “ Jugaad” in Davos/CII/FICCI forums and business channel interviews. That is their way of saying that they are so connected to the “ real India” despite those Armani suits , imported floss and Chanel colognes. But when CWG happened, suddenly this “ Indian way” of doing things became a bit like Farah Khan’s latest turkey.

Scam : All 3 letter acronyms CAG,CWG,JPC,PAC in effect became four letter words, creating bedlam and pandemonium with effortless ease. Quite unparliamentary, one would say. If I was BJP, another three letter whatever, I would rechristen that dubious political name with religious fervor.

Spectrum : Recently, I was a keynote speaker in a corporate offsite, and while sharing my precious platinum of wisdom , I unwittingly ejaculated — spectrum, and worse took a pause. Without a cue, everyone in the audience laughed. This rainbow term has caused havoc this year. And worse, as someone said to me, you cannot even see that damned thing.

Kalmadi: From nowhere, Kalmadi suddenly stole the thunder from everyone dying to be in the arc-lights , including Shah Rukh Khan and Sachin Tendulkar. Even Veena Malik. Now his name has become almost generic. At our office last Friday while doing some fooling around playing a game called Secret Santa, someone went overboard concealing the goodies. Promptly, I heard a voice over the din; Please don’t do a Kalmadi, man!
Seriously, you can’t “ refudiate” the birth of new K in Oxford dictionaries.

Have a great and happy new Year !

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